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Die Wise: A Manifesto for Sanity and Soul, by Stephen Jenkinson
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Die Wise does not offer seven steps for coping with death. It does not suggest ways to make dying easier. It pours no honey to make the medicine go down. Instead, with lyrical prose, deep wisdom, and stories from his two decades of working with dying people and their families, Stephen Jenkinson places death at the center of the page and asks us to behold it in all its painful beauty. Die Wise teaches the skills of dying, skills that have to be learned in the course of living deeply and well. Die Wise is for those who will fail to live forever.
Dying well, Jenkinson writes, is a right and responsibility of everyone. It is not a lifestyle option. It is a moral, political, and spiritual obligation each person owes their ancestors and their heirs. Die Wise dreams such a dream, and plots such an uprising. How we die, how we care for dying people, and how we carry our dead: this work makes our capacity for a village-mindedness, or breaks it.
Table of Contents
The Ordeal of a Managed Death
Stealing Meaning from Dying
The Tyrant Hope
The Quality of Life
Yes, But Not Like This
The Work
So Who Are the Dying to You?
Dying Facing Home
What Dying Asks of Us All
Kids
Ah, My Friend the Enemy
- Sales Rank: #76472 in Books
- Brand: North Atlantic Books
- Published on: 2015-03-17
- Released on: 2015-03-17
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.99" h x 1.14" w x 6.01" l, .0 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 416 pages
- North Atlantic Books
Review
“Stephen Jenkinson’s elegant and sorrow-freighted book brings prophetic insight rather than pastoral affirmations. A true story-man, Jenkinson paints image after image on the cave wall of his parchment. Die Wise is a formidable body of work, road-tested in ways most of us hope never to know about. Stay with it, hold the sorrow as the gift it is, savor in small, immense chunks. Every word is an invitation to trade fantasy for imagination. There isn’t a book like it.”
—Dr. Martin Shaw, author of Snowy Tower: Parzival and the Wet, Black Branch of Language
About the Author
STEPHEN JENKINSON MTS MSW is an activist, teacher, author, and farmer. He has a master's degree in theology from Harvard University and a master's degree in social work from the University of Toronto. Formerly a program director at a major Canadian hospital and medical-school assistant professor, Stephen is now a sought-after workshop leader, speaker, and consultant to palliative care and hospice organizations. He is the founder of The Orphan Wisdom School in Canada and the subject of the documentary film Griefwalker.
Most helpful customer reviews
67 of 68 people found the following review helpful.
slow at first, powerful by the end
By A reader
I had quite mixed reactions to this book. On the one hand, the author clearly has many years of experience working with dying people, their families, and various health workers. He writes with great sensitivity. Sometimes his stories brought back vivid memories of deaths of loved ones: the mysterious course that life can take; the fear on all sides; the unknowns; the frustration with the medical system; the strangeness of it all (especially watching someone's consciousness wax and wane - can they hear us? are they aware?) and the relief that simple kindness could bring.
Several things make this a difficult read: first, the subject matter; also, an underlying cynicism from Jenkinson, and partly the writing itself, which tends to be wordy and to wander in unexpected directions, the way one might in an impassioned conversation about a cherished subject. Jenkinson repeats his ideas many times, and spends long stretches of the book telling us what is *not* working in our society's approach to death before finally beginning to write about about how to "die wise." He is extremely critical of the modern practices that extend the lives of people with life threatening illnesses, and of palliative care as offered today. The implications and complications of all of this are revisited many times: "more time" (to live) means "more dying" (as opposed to a quick, peaceful death that is not anticipated.)
However, as the chapters go by, Jenkinson's ideas for a better way gradually emerge, and well into the book, he writes eloquently and passionately about true acceptance of death and honest conversation with the dying, as opposed to "cheerleading" and denial of what is really happening. He uses lots of imagery from nature, and occasionally quotes beautiful poetry to underscore his points.
Not the easiest read, but in the midst it all, there are touching and even beautiful moments. Recommended to readers who can be patient and flexible with the above.
11 of 11 people found the following review helpful.
like the Cairn
By Nora L. Jamieson
Stephen Jenkinson's Die Wise is a demanding read. This, make no mistake, is a recommendation. Why should it not be, after all, given that he is telling us the story of dying in these times? And how it might be. My father died some sixty years ago now, from acute leukemia, or I should say, in Stephen Jenkinson's definition, he did not die. No one told him about his diagnosis or prognosis, he was left to figure that out himself, no one told his children that he was dying, even though he diminished right in front of us. This was considered compassionate care, well intended surely. It was a lonely and wretched affair. Things are not a whole lot different now. Die Wise is a Cairn on the road we walk through life. Like the Cairn, it is a guide, a reminder, a lament, and a labor of grief and love. Die Wise is written in a language of redemption, of how it might be different in our times. It is fierce, challenging, tender, and full of longing. I want my children and my grandchildren to read it. I want those who might attend my dying and all those whose dying I will be called to attend to read it. It is a gift.
9 of 9 people found the following review helpful.
Read this book. It is a journey that everyone must take.
By Oscar C Perez PhD
Die Wise is a powerful and uncompromising testament to the way things have gone wrong in our society, and to the great debt we have all forgotten for the privilege of being here. This is a beautiful book. It is full of the heart-wrenching realities that we fail to acknowledge as a society, in the treatment of our death and the deaths of our loved ones. Stephen Jenkinson has an incisive wisdom that is conveyed through a poet's eyes. Still, he maintains the unflinching determination to say what needs to be said regardless of how it will be received. We live in a society that looks to candy-coat every uncomfortable truth, and therefore gives us a free pass to extend our adolescence into our time of dying. Which means that we never see our death, the deaths of others, or have the maturity to honor death for what it is. In this book, Stephen Jenkinson asks us to look at the roots of our perpetually adolescent-minded society so that we can see how deeply it impacts us and the world we live in. It is a call to action that demands that we begin acknowledging and honoring all of our relations in the greater scheme of things, which is to say that we realize that Life means more than just "my life." We are well into the waning arc of the civilization that has birthed and sustained us, it is a time for learning to grieve all that has gone unnoticed, all that has not been honored and because of it is suffering the starvation that is collectively felt and never satiated by our consumer society. It is a starvation of the Soul. While Stephen Jenkinson does not provide any answers as to how we do this, he helps us start to feel around the edges of the hole within us, where one day that Soul can be found in our future generations if we begin the work now. This book is a must read for everyone.
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